By Kemi Seriki
(The initial name was Irinkerindo Africans in America)
In 2017, I started a conversation about the first generation of African immigrant children growing up in America society. The purpose of the discussion is to create an open platform for our children to express their challenges as they try to balance between two worlds of having America identity and maintaining their African heritage. The event took place last November 18th, 2017 with the panelist of five African Americans first generation from three African countries from Nigeria, Ghana, and Gambia. With the assistant of Dr. Bola Omotsho who helps secure the space and co-host the event, the forum was held at Davidson Community Center in the Bronx. The gathering was interactive and engaging with the members of the audience who were stimulated by the conversation.
There is an African saying “wisdom is Wealth,” and our young men and women gave a compelling discussion about the past and present challenges they faced as they tried to balance between both worlds. The discussion ranges from being bullied at school during their formative years to emotional struggle to mental health to choosing a career to relocate back to African. There were many touching moments during the discussion, but the most memorable part for me was when two of the panelists talked about their experience of facing and surviving being bullied by fellow students at the school from the early part of childhood to high school age. They spoke about fellow students who called them derogatory names and demeaning their African heritage. The panelists expressed how the thought of discussing the issue of facing a bully at school with the parent may be challenging. As many agreed during the forum, there is no open communication between a child and the parent on emotional struggles. The meaning of having an open discussion in this sense is the ability for a child to talk about their emotional hassles with their parents freely and for the parent to listen attentively with understanding without being dismissive. Some member of the panelist agreed that parent might have more to worry about which is not limited to just paying the bills and providing basic family needs but parents may be going through emotional problems. Some of the panelists indicated that it is difficult for a child to have a conversation with a parent about emotional struggles if parent regularly threatens to take them back to Africa for schooling. Many agreed that most parents focus on academics achievement, obedience at school and home without looking at other barriers that may hinder such progress. 
As I listen to this conversation, I began to wonder on the negative consequences of threats to send a child to Africa for failure to follow directives at home. The child may grow up to thinking that going to Africa means punishment and imagine if such a negative image is planted in the child’s memory during the formative years. This approach could create negative reinforcement of African image. Then, we may wonder why some of our children are uncomfortable claiming their African heritage. Instead of threatening our children with these negative reinforcement that when they go to school in Africa, they may have to walk three miles to get to school. Get canned when they do something wrong, get biting by mosquitos, doing manual labor and most importantly missing their immediate family, we should create a safe space to talk and have an open conversation with our children to find out their worries. To me, part of parenting is to face the challenges of ups and downs of child-rearing and not to shift the responsibility of the downs to somebody else or somewhere else. There is a proverb from Ivory Coast that says “The old woman looks after the child to grow its teeth and the young one, in turn, looks after the old woman when she loses her teeth. At the conclusion of this particular topic, the panelist advised parents to regularly check in with their children on their emotional health and allow safe and open conversation within family’s home. 
According to the slaying of our Ancestors, if you close your eyes to facts, you will learn through accidents. The panelist touched on parents who were openly showing favoritism towards a child whom they believe exhibit a promising future that makes them proud within the community of friends and family while ignoring another child who desperately needs their attention. This conversation leads to the difficulties of making career a choice and the rejection from parents and other members of the community when the career choice is not deemed prestigious or seen as profitable such as becoming a doctor, lawyer, engineer or accountant. The first generation indicated that choosing a career is not only about making money and having a prestigious job that would make their parent and member of community proud but choosing a career path according to their unique talent and fulfilling their inner spirits. 
This specific topic reminds me of a proverb that says “To get lost is to find the way and if you don’t fall, you never know how to get up.” As parents, we sometimes need to step aside and give our children the liberty to find themselves and their unique talent. We may be afraid of a career choice in unfamiliar territory or outside the norm, but we need to understand that it is not about us. On this particular topic, the discussion leads to a heated debate between some of the parents and our young men and women. Our children are asking that the parents give them the liberty to make their own choice regarding their career path and their own their mistakes because it is through trial and tribulation that they would learn to grow up to be strong enough to face the storm that may come their way in the future.
According to Cameron saying “knowledge is better than riches.” There was also discussion on race in America and the unique challenges many immigrant children face from trying to find out where they belong in a divided American society, to maintaining their African heritage and cultural values and religious values. With understanding the present racial tension and the lack of tolerance for those labeled as others, our young men and women understand the difficulties they face as they tried to navigate through the system of injustice and racial inequality in America. We discussed the differences between immigrant experience and the black experience. We talked about the fact that black experience is historical which reflects on the history of slavery, Jim Crow, and racial segregation in America. We further explore the fact that immigrants of color are not immune to racial injustice in America. As understood during the forum, many immigrant parents may not have the tools to help their children navigate through the system of social injustice and racial disparities because African immigrants experience impressed upon ethnicity, religion and not of skin color. We acknowledged that African immigrant parents also face the same challenges of racism and discrimination as their children. There was a general understanding that there is a need to educate our community on the issue of race in America, its consequences and the historical oppression of people of African descent in America. 
On the conclusion, those who attended see this forum as a conversation that is needed and it should be a continuous event within our community across the country. Parents in the audience express their appreciation of open and honest dialogue from a member of our youth in the panel and others in the audience.