By Kemi Seriki
Galdones Photography for the James Beard Foundation.
During the summer of 2019, I scrolled into Barnes & Nobel to look around for a newly released book. As I was browsing through the summer readings, I came across Kwame Onwuachi’s memoir. I glanced through the book, but I was a little bit skeptical about reading a biography from someone in his late twenties. I thought to myself, well as a black chef, he may have a lot to say in a predominantly white male profession. As I stood there skimming through the book, I thought, why is it that white men dominated the field of a professional chef, fine dining and cuisine, and they are highly celebrated. Historically, men were not known to cook, cater, and serve according to social custom instituted by the male patriotic societies around the world. For that matter, white men have never known to perform such duties. I believed that this book might expose me to a new phenomenon of the privileged white world and those who categorized as others. I ordered the book on amazon enthusiastically, wanting to dive into reading the book as soon as it is delivered.
As I was reading the book, I realized that Notes from A Young Black Chef should be a recommended reading for African immigrant families. The book is an example of understanding the challenges and obstacles of raising children in a society where racism, hostility, poverty, and lack of opportunities can endanger the entire family. Onwuachi’s autobiography tells the story of a young man who survives and bounces back. He was unapologetic in using his story as poetic justice to expose the truth about his family dynamics and the ruthlessness of a racist system. This book evidences the saying from Jason Reynold, “You can’t run away from who you are, but what you can do is to run towards who you want to be.”
Family Background
Kwame Onwuachi is who I would refer to as African diaspora in One came from a diverse background. His family background truly embodied and personified modern Africans in the diaspora with direct lineage from Nigeria, the Afro Caribbean, Louisiana, and New Orleans. Kwame is the only child from a marriage that he described in this book was not meant to be. His mother, Jewel Robinson, a former accountant, met his father Patrick Onwuachi, an architect in 1989 at a political rally in NYC. Onwuachi’s exposure to a diversity of cuisine stated at a very young age after his mother lost her job as an accountant, and she became a full-time chef and a caterer. Onwuachi, who was born in New York and grew up in the Bronx, detailed the varieties of cooking from his background that shapes his future. From egusi, fufu and jollof rice from Nigeria, jerk chicken from Jamaica, seafood gumbo, and jambalaya from New Orleans, Onwuachi have been cooking with his mother at the tender age of three years old. As he described, he would stand on a stool to reach the sink and the stove so that he could assist his mother in cooking.
Race and Politics of White Space
Notes from A Young Black Chef grabbed my attention from the first chapter to the end. The content in the book was not only about Onwuachi’s life experience, but each section contains recipes on different dishes he grew up with and make him the man he is today. As a black man navigating into a white male-dominated field, the first chapter of the book titled “Standing on Stories” is the response to his critics. A white male food critic challenged his authenticity when he opened his first restaurant. He criticizes him as been too ambitious, overpriced, and how dare him to compete with another restaurant in the vicinity. The critic asked Onwuachi, “To whom had I paid my dues.” As the passage continues, “It seems like the only ones keeping track are white guys with tall hats. And how did those guys get into the club? By paying dues to older white guys with even taller hats. As for the thousands of black and brown chefs-dubbed cooks, domestics, servants, boys and mammies who were kept out of the restaurant kitchen or overlooked within them-they were beyond consideration.”
What may be more critical to this white male food critic is that paying due is based on standardized white experience, and those labeled as others are not welcome into the club. How can people of color break into white space in a system that normalizes biases? The admiring background that Onwuachi grew up in the Bronx surrounded with cuisine from multiple rich cultures that he may have been exposed to both personal and institutional racism and still able to make it to where he is today does not matter. The critic may not care to know that Kwame cooking experience started from his mother’s kitchen, working in a restaurant on a ship, owning his catering business while studying at Culinary Institute of America, externed at Per Se, and eventually worked at Eleven Madison Park. The general advice to children of color is that you can achieve that “American Dream” if you just work hard. The reality is that the American Dream comes with its limitations. American Dream is not only about hard work, but it comes with opportunities that are racially restricted to people of color. As Onwuachi affirmed in his book, referring to America’s atrocity of its past and present. “Like them, I live with a contradiction between what this country says it is and what it really is, as my mother and father have, as my brothers and sisters have, and as my ancestors have too. Obedience is not an option when the system is aligned against you.”
Childhood Experience
Onwuachi’s experience didn’t just fill with navigating through the system of institutionalized racism. His childhood experience filled with verbal abuse and brutal physical abuse from a father who was not emotionally available to his son. At a tender age, his parents were divorced, and Onwuachi visits his father on the weekend. Visiting a father who was oblivious to understand that violence and verbal abuse towards a child are traumatic, Onwuachi described his father as someone with “wild mood and emotional earthquakes.” As he narrated, one moment, his father could be fun and charming, and another moment, his mood could turn dangerous without warning. The father develops a system of recording Onwuachi’s infractions from accidentally dropping a glass to improperly lining up equal signs in his math homework or any sloppy handwriting. Father direct his own son to mark his offenses on the chart developed, and when he “earned” enough marks on the chart, he would result in “ass-whooping” from his father. His father whipped young Onwuachi with a wooden-handled leader whip brought from Nigeria called Koboko. His father beats him until the braided leather lacerated his skin, and sometimes he hits him on his arms, on his legs, and his buttocks to the extent that the pain suffered from the beatings prevent him from sitting down. Onwuachi recollected that his father once beat him and whip broke, his father directed him to repair the whip with duct tape.
Ruthless Child abuse and the concept of “Spare the Rod and Spoil the Child.”
Traditionally, corporal punishment enforced by parents, guardians, and any adult member of the community have always been part of the norms growing up in Nigeria, and this belief is widely spread across the continent. The societal conviction that physical punishment is the primary solution to correct various infraction of children would later produce an adult who would be discipline, and obedience has not been effective in many cases. Onwauchi’s memoir proves this point, and as he affirmed: “He was demanding, not like a dad who wants his son to succeed but in a way that seems engineered to ensure failure.” A father who professes to his own son that his son would not amount to much in the world lacks practical parenting skill that encourages positive behavior. Father may not realize that children learn from what they experience daily. A child who was raised in a home with physical violence and verbal abuse would likely become an adult with negative aggression and sometimes dysfunctional behavior. Onwuachi demonstrated, replicate, and channel the negative energy his father deployed on him on to fellow school mates starting from the time he was in 2nd grade. He was both physically aggressive and verbally abusive towards fellow students, and most of all, he seems unremorseful. The behavior landed him to the principal’s office and the school therapist. It was troubling for the adult to see an eight or nine-year-old child calling a fellow student “worthless piece of shit and a stupid idiot.” As he asserted in the book, “The same things my father shouted at me, I shouted it back to the world.”
How do I wish?
If you never step out of your orbit, you may never see the world from another perspective. Onwuachi realizes that there is another dynamic to the way family can relate to each other when he befriended a white classmate from his elementary school. Regularly spending time at his friends’ house, he saw a different version of how a father relates to his family. At Gallagher’s home, Onwuachi saw a father who regularly hugs and kisses his wife and his twin boys when he comes home from work. He observed a loving home where a family eats together and share laughs. Onwuachi desired such a family bond as he wrote, “The easy way in which twins received his affection and his unselfconsciously reciprocated filled me with the sadness of a window-shopper. I could see it, feel it, come close to it, but their family life would never be mine. “As I write this paragraph, Nolte’s poem came to my mind.
As stated by Nolte in her poem,
“if children live with criticism, they learn to condemn.
If children live with hostility, they learn to fight.
If children live with fear, they learn to be apprehensive.
If children live with pity, they learn to feel sorry for themselves.
If children live with encouragement, they learn confidence.
If children live with tolerance, they learn patience.
If children live with praise, they learn appreciation.
If children live with acceptance, they learn to love.”
Is sending an unruly child to Nigeria the answer?
Fearing the consequence of indiscipline and continuously getting in trouble at school and not following directives at home, both parents agreed to send Onwuachi to Nigeria to “learn respect.” At the age of 10, a two months summer holiday turned to two years stay with his grandfather in Ibusa. Onwuachi’s grandfather, as indicated, was not only one of the leading voices in the Pan-African movement from the 1950s through the 1970s, he held a teaching position at Howard and Fisk University when he was in the United States. He published books on African identity and Black Liberation. In 1973, the grandfather relocated back to Nigeria after realizing that he could never be free in the United States. After the grandfather relocated to Nigeria, he continues to visits his children and his grandchildren in the United States yearly. Onwuachi acquainted and have a connection with his grandfather before he was sent to live with him. Even though he was devasted, leaving familiar territory but spending two years in Nigeria under the watchful eyes of his loving grandfather seems rewarding. While in Nigeria, Onwuachi’s grandfather educates his grandson about his ancestors, and the essence of their spirit, which he said has “seeped” into him and continues to be part of him. In Nigeria, he quickly adjusts to the order of the community as it relates to respecting the elders, experiencing a polygamous household setting, doing chores, rules of discipline, and, most importantly, how teachers view the students. The teachers at his school assessed them as students, just boys, and acknowledged their differences but do not label student “problem” as he was perceived when he was in school in America.
Put to the test – Welcome back to NYC
Every good time must come to an end. A child who was sent away must eventually come back home to the parents. After two years of staying in Nigeria, Onwuachi moved back to the United States. A different environment requires different adjustments. The child who acclimated well in Nigeria may be different when such a child returns to the United States. As Onwuachi said, “Ibusa was a stage too, of course, but with a different cast, a different audience and a very different scenery.” When Onwuachi returned, he restored to his old self before he left for Nigeria, and his behavior worsens. He was struggling with his identity and finding his fitting within his school community and within his neighborhood. Exploring resulted in hanging out with the wrong crowd who negatively influence his behavior. Mother struggle and gathered money together to pay $8,000 yearly tuition for Spellman Catholic High School. He was later expelled from the school due to his disruptive behavior. Onwuachi later graduated from Bronx Leadership Academy, but during his time, he regularly got into fights, intermingled with gangs, exposed to illegal drugs within the neighborhood. He gained admission to the University of Bridgeport and eventually expelled from the school for illicit drug use and illicit drug sale.
Multiple failures may be a resource for building strength and resiliency
After accessing how his life was raveling, Onwuachi determined to make positive change and leave the unpromising live behind. With love and support from a loving mother who never gave up on her son, he moved back with his mother in Louisiana. He eventually landed a job as a chef on a boat serving the cleaning crew. He ultimately fashioned his craft and determined to dive into his own catering business. Upon relocating back to New York City, Onwuachi worked as a waiter and opened his own catering business. He understood that he needed to diversify his knowledge of different cuisine to attract diverse customers. In 2012, Onwuachi he enrolled at The Culinary Institute of America while he continues his catering business. While at the school, he externship at Per Se, a top New York restaurant, and after graduation, he landed a job at Eleven Madison Park. Before opening his restaurant, Onwuachi catered the dinner in honoring the opening of the Smithsonian Museum of African American History and Culture. In 2016, he opened Shaw Bijou in Washington DC, and the restaurant closed down in two months following a review from a critic who questioned if the food worth the price.
For a determined spirit, failure serves as an opportunity to explore all avenues. A character that learns from defeat would never be lost. Another opportunity recognized his talent, and in 2017, Onwuachi was offered a position to open a restaurant in which he named Kith and Kin serving Afro-Caribbean cuisine. As an executive chef at Kith and Kin, Onwuachi’s cooking is influenced by his diverse family heritage from Nigeria, Louisiana, Trinidad, and Jamaica. Kwame Onwuachi opened five restaurants before he turned thirty. He was featured as a contestant on Top Chef. He was named a 30 under 30 honoree by Zagat and Forbes magazine. Time magazine named him among the 100 the rising stars of 2019 who are shaping their industries. Food & Wine and Esquire magazine named him one of the best new chefs in 2019.
According to Yoruba saying “Iroyin o ma t’ afojuba,” meaning the personal experience is the best or seeing is believing. Please get your own book and read the memoir of this remarkable young man.